Running Is Uncomfortable

The past year has been a difficult one for me. My running has taken a back seat to my life. In my last post, which is just two weeks shy of one year ago! I talked about a heart issue I had. There were so many times I wanted to post about the procedure, the recovery, but I just couldn’t do it. Time ticked forward, I had a multitude of things going on in my life, mainly, moving. I had to pack up a house of twenty years of history. Twenty years of kids stuff never thrown out. A garage sale came first and that was a ton of work. Then there was the various donations. Getting rid of all those memories was hard on me. A ton of tears were shed.

That was last November. I was hardly running. I think I did one, yes one, 6 mile run between my heart procedure and now. And now I still haven’t run more that 3.2 miles in one continuous motion since last fall. On top of all that, I was in physical therapy for the chronic Plantar Fasciitis I have been plagued with for over two years. It seemed to work. I wasn’t running though, so of course it didn’t hurt anymore. I won’t tell you how my heel feels right now. It’s not good news.

I moved last December and was set to go back to school, to culinary school, at the Culinary Institute of America. That is another story for my other blog butterandsugaryum. I still need to write that one too. I have a lot of writing to catch up on. Needless to say, school wasn’t working out for me either. Running was not happening at all because of the incredible school work load, (I had no idea how much homework there was going to be in culinary school) and that was affecting my well being — no balance. Hey, at least I gave it a shot. It was hard work.

So here I am today… trying to be really excited about running again. About nine months ago I signed up for a 10K in Calistoga, CA for April 19th. I figured I would have the time to train while in school. Ha! After I left the school I was finally able to go for a run. It was awful. My fitness was gone, I had gained um… more pounds than I care to tell you, but I weighed what I did before I started running 7 years ago. Yes, I was at a culinary school for 2 months… with 2 meals provided a day, lunch having a dessert table that rivals that of any casino buffet! And I was studying the baking and pastry arts… with my sweet tooth and no exercise happening, I was doomed. Without the running, the weight crept right back to the miserable old days.

But after school ended for me, I still couldn’t get motivated to train. It’s really hard to run with all those extra pounds and honestly, that probably doesn’t contribute to the real reason which is… my mind still wonders if my heart can handle the running. I won’t get lengthy with this post talking about the procedure I did a year ago. I will maybe write about that later. But it had become a mental block of sorts.

What I want to say is, running is uncomfortable.

That’s what was streaming through my mind almost immediately today when I got back on the running horse (it’s been almost 3 weeks since the last real run, the Napa Valley 10K in Calistoga, CA — 10K turned 5K). And I told myself, that is ok. It’s supposed to be, right now. I can’t expect to run like I used to. It is hard. It’s demanding, tiring, laborious. Running is tough work. Which is why you don’t see everyone out there doing it. It takes a certain discipline. A certain mentality that makes you get your ass up and out the door and says, I’m gonna do this! I had lost that enthusiasm. It’s still a little lost. I’m hoping that by writing this, by admitting my lack of desire for a sport I once so truly loved, that it will push me to get it on. That and signing up for another 5K.

The Calistoga 10K… that turned into a 5K since I hadn’t trained running farther that 3 miles with walk breaks. Walk breaks!! Me!

This was my first 5K ever. I always felt like 3 miles was never much of a challenge — that was before. Now I see different. I was going to be happy to complete that 3.2 miles regardless of how I did it, run, walk, crawl. Then at the race, some old muscle memory kicked in and I ran the whole way. That’s the cool thing about a race, that adrenaline. I didn’t try to be a hero, just did a comfortable pace. Wait, running isn’t comfortable. I did just say that. So, I ran a relatively slow pace. And, to my surprise, I ended up 3rd in my age group, 45-49, just two weeks shy of my birthday. Not bad for this underachiever.


I even got a ribbon. My first race award ever. I have a new attitude about 5K races.

As far as this uncomfortable feeling. I think I will be feeling that for the next few months, maybe forever. I’m hoping to find another 5K race for June, July, August, etc, and now that I’ve just moved up into the next age bracket, 50+, maybe I have a chance to ribbon again. Who knows? For now, I’m going to just keep moving forward until 3 miles is comfortable and I make a new goal to be uncomfortable again (perhaps a 10k?)


2 thoughts on “Running Is Uncomfortable

  1. Glad you are posting again…Good write up, and you are correct on many levels…Running is hard and as you pointed out, that is why you don’t see everyone doing it…But you know that it gets easier, and in some ways you have a disadvantage by having been at that level where it flows more…It still hurts, but it is a different kind of hurt…And when you go out now, you are comparing it to how you used to feel…
    All I can tell you is this…You know I run a lot, and most of the time I don’t want to head out and hit the trail, or the Gym…But I remind myself that the hard days make the good ones possible…I know I will feel better after I go, and most importantly, I know that there will come a day that I can’t do this anymore…So I should make the most of it while I can….You can do this, you have done this…You are tough enough, and brave enough, and dedicated enough…The strength you have brought to the other challenges you have faced is the same strength that will move you through this…Go get it…

    1. Thank you Andrew! I always love your words of wisdom. You are correct in so many ways. And yes, I am comparing it to what it once was and I need to not do that. I think I if keep pressing on I can be there again. Thanks for always being in my corner and supporting me with your kind and helpful words. It is very appreciated!

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