I try really hard to not write posts that are a downer, but I feel a bit stuck right now and I haven’t posted for a week, so this is all I got.
Today marks the 8th day I’ve been wearing my walking boot. That’s over one week. I’m already sick of it and feel like these next three weeks are going to draaaag. I wish I could fast forward the clock. Being laid up is NOT FUN!
The past weekend I tried to do a bike (on trainer) workout, but it proved to be detrimental to the healing process of my PF. The doctor did say I could try it to see if it aggravated it. Well, it did. By the end of the day Saturday my foot was aching. Then Sunday morning I tried a different P90X video-Kempo. It was fun, but a lot of boxing moves and kicks. Which is difficult in itself, let alone in a walking boot. Stupidly, I put more stress on my foot. Afterwards, I went bicycle shopping with Tom, which was fun, getting to test drive road bikes, especially on such a beautiful sunny day. When I first got on the bike I seriously had to take a moment to think about how to ride one without the trainer. I just sat there like a dork while Tom and the sales guy looked at me and said… you can go anytime. I felt frozen and like a first time rider afraid I was going to fall over.
At the first store, I took off the boot and put on my regular shoe. After that, I road the other bikes at subsequent stores with my boot on, and it felt so nice to fly around the parking lots. I miss running outside a lot. I thought buying a bike would be ok, but that night, the pain was so bad in my heel, that I had to borrow a Vicodin from someone to at least get a decent night of sleep. That also allowed me to tolerate the horrible night splint for an extra 2 hours over the basic 2 hours I am able to wear it. So, instead up waking up at around 2 a.m., I woke at 4 a.m. to rip it off.
I saw a few bikes I liked. They are really expensive. And even though it would be great to have one, I feel like now I should wait a little while. I can’t ride one at the moment anyway. I can’t do anything it seems. I think I would like to have a bike to ride outside, so… I’ll put it on the back burner for now.
These past eight days have also been filled with various moments of tears. I’m not sure what is going on, but hoping it’s just feeling sad about being laid up, not having run for almost 8 weeks now and not feeling like there is much to look forward to at the moment. Running is one of the things that defines me, and I am certainly mourning that loss. On top of the fact that I really can’t do much with this boot on, so I am not so fun to hang out with I think.
(on a side note, some anonymous person wrote some really nasty comments personally attacking me on my blog Monday morning. I don’t understand the hatefulness of some people. Stuff like that does affect me, even if I act like it doesn’t.)
I didn’t work out on Monday, gave the old foot a break. But yesterday and today, I was determined to do P90X (for some peace of mind) just in a modified way.
NO MORE JUMPING OR PUTTING PRESSURE ON THE FOOT!!
Now when Tony Horton says do ‘half jacks’ in the warm up, they consist of me standing still and raising my arms up and down, like a chicken flapping it’s wings and never getting anywhere.
Most of the moves I can modify. At this point, I am mainly working my arms, back, shoulders and core. P90X is certainly not for wimps.
I’m still enjoying the P90X workouts, so that is at least something. I also feel like I’m getting much stronger. Two good things. I guess I will have a super buff upper body in another few weeks.
I’ve also been eating super clean the last week and a half, which may also be why I’m in a bit of a funk these days, as I miss the option of eating something a little more delectable, like a cookie or chocolate. Right now, the highlight of my day is getting to eat an apple with a small amount of peanut butter. This combo is actually pretty tasty. I only like Fuji apples though, as they are usually the most crunchy. I don’t like apples that are squishy when I bite into them.
Tomorrow I go in for my cortisone shot. I’m very nervous (stressed) about it as I’ve read so many stories of folks saying its really painful. Plus I’m not sure it’s going to help. But I’m going to go for it since I’m already having to wear this boot for another 3 weeks, so I might as well get one now.
I realize that what I am going through is not the end of the world and that there are many more people suffering from way worse than my little PF problem. I am trying to keep that in perspective. I’m lucky I have my health, my sweet wonderful boys, a house, a job and a supportive and caring boyfriend.
I’m hoping I will feel better after tomorrow or this weekend. At this moment I don’t think it will be until I can run again, which I might have to come to terms with may be… never.