Today has been an emotional roller coaster. I started off meeting my run group for a mild, short run. I was feeling good, but after a mile my calf felt just like it did last Sunday so I stopped and Maili and I walked back to the parking lot where we started. There we worked on some slower running methods. I guess the fact that I was able to do that is encouraging. I can maybe employ a run/walk method at next weeks race.
Maili was great today! Just the fact that she was there for me and supportive was really touching. Her words of encouragement and willingness to run with me made me cry. I am rather hormonal right now, so even someone being nice to me will bring on a flood of tears. My biggest fear at the marathon is that I might hold someone from our team back. I don’t want to ruin anyone else’s race. It’s ok if they leave me behind. I hate being a weak link.
I also met my Spartan buddy, Beth today who is visiting from out of town. Her hugs and wisdom were also cherished and it was just nice to have someone listen to me and let me vent. I hope I wasn’t too much of a Debbie Downer!
Oddly enough, I am feeling more optimistic as I write this. It really helps to talk things out with others and wrap my head around this differently. There is so much love and support around me. My mom was even encouraging me to run the marathon tonight when just days ago she was saying that I shouldn’t do it. She even told me to try using Arnica cream boasting how it helped her. Having her support was huge!!
I am truly blessed with the friends and family I have. I’m so glad I waited to write this post because earlier I had written a draft of doom and gloom. I hate writing negative things. I want to stay positive.
So here is my plan. No running this week. Rest. Some indoor cycling. Easy. Do therapy 2 more times. Take advantage of the fact that my boss said I could take Friday off too. Get mentally fit to run this marathon. I will start the race. I will start slow. And if I can’t get through it I will walk to the nearest aid station and volunteer.
As Sonja, Andrew and Lisa have said… If I don’t finish (or race), it’s not the end of the world. There will be other races, other marathons. And there is still 6 days to recover.
One more week and I can focus on something else!!! HA!
Some good quotes. This first one came just before I finished typing that last line.
You’re running on guts. On fumes. Your muscles twitch. You throw up. You’re delirious. But you keep running because there’s no way out of this hell you’re in, because there’s no way you’re not crossing the finish line. It’s a misery that non-runners don’t understand. ~Martine Costello, author and runner
Years ago, I learned certain things are beyond control. When this happened, I didn’t ask, ‘Why me?’ But for a fleeting moment, I asked, ‘Why my leg?’ And I realized that, as a runner, my legs are where I pay the most attention. That is essentially what saved my life. Everything happens for a reason. You just have to live fearlessly and love every day. ~Serena Burla, competitive runner and cancer survivor